Until The Day I’m Gone
“Kayla, are you almost ready? We have a reservation at 7 o’ clock” said Brad.
“Yeah ill be down in one minute!” Kayla said.
It was Kayla’s and Brad’s 2 year anniversary as a couple, but they weren’t quite married yet. But to celebrate there anniversary Brad is taking Kayla to her favorite restaurant, Olive Garden. Brad also got Kayla a beautiful diamond heart necklace, the one she has always wanted.
Dinner was very good when they got back home Brad gave Kayla the necklace. She loved it so much she could hardly speak! It really pleased him to know that she enjoyed the present so much. She gave him a big kiss and hug to thank him for the present and told him how much she loved him. Brad told her he loves her too, as they were a very much in love couple. They went to sleep very happy with the day and Brad was dreaming about proposing to Kayla, which he wanted to do soon. He woke up early because of a call. The call was from the General in the military telling him he had to go off to help fight the war in Iraq. Brad is a Private First Class in the United States Marine Corps. Brad could not impasse the call. He was devastated to get this call because he planned to go buy a engagement ring for Kayla that day so he could have it ready when he decided to propose to her.
Brad went out anyways before Kayla woke up and went to get Kayla a engagement ring. He went to Kay Jewelers because he saw a engagement ring there a while ago that he wanted to get. It was silver with a big 4 karat diamond. He decided to get it and it would match perfectly with the necklace he got her. He got home by 9 a.m. and Kayla was still sleeping so he cooked her favorite breakfast, bacon and eggs. He made everything just the way she liked it. because he was very magnanimous to her. She woke up to the delicious smell of his cooking wafting into her room and he delicately placed everything on a tray and served her breakfast in bed. He kissed her good morning and then gave her, her breakfast.
Kayla said, “Brad that was delicious” and ate it all.
Brad said, “Thanks Kayla but, I have to tell you something”
Kayla said, “What is it?”
He told her how he got called out to the war to settle the anarchy over there and how he would be gone for a year. She started crying and he did too. It morosed Kayla to know that she wouldnt see Brad for a year. He was going to miss her so much and he was deeply afraid that while he is gone she will find somebody else and leave him, and she was all that he had, but Brad didn’t want to share those fears with Kayla. Kayla was also going to miss Brad and she had trepidation that he might die in the war because it was extremely dangerous and many people have died already. He was to leave in 2 weeks. So leading up to that time together Kayla and Brad spent all of there time together. They hardly left each others side! But Brad didn’t think it would be fair to Kayla to propose to her and then have to leave. So he never did.
On the day Brad had to leave Kayla cried a lot and so did Brad. Brad gave her one last hug and kiss.
“I am going to miss you so much Kayla!‘ Said Brad.
“Ill miss you too! Be safe, remember you promised you’d come home to me!!“ Kayla said.
And with that Brad boarded the plan and was gone leaving Kayla there with tears streaming down her cheeks.
Brad got to Iraq the next morning, missing Kayla already. He was briefed about what he was to do. And he spent the whole day training with dexterity. He was then told that he was going to be sent to do patrols of a dangerous village the next day with 5 other Marines and was compliant when he heard this. He was laying in bed that night and he pulled out some paper and began writing. He was writing to Kayla. He was telling her what it is like out here and explaining his feelings towards her and how much he missed her. He loathed being away from her for this long! He had it sent to her the next day before the patrols. Brad was an infallable Marine. During the patrols they didn’t find anybody that posed a threat to them. They were surprised because they were prepared for an ambush that never came. But all that was on Brad’s mind was Kayla. He got a letter back from her a week and 2 days later. It was titled take care of yourself out there. And in the letter she also explained how much she missed him and how much she loves him. Also how she was doleful that she couldnt see him at all. But she told him he was very hardly to be out there fighting for his country. She told him to keep writing letters so they can stay close and it lets her know he’s still going to be able to come home to her.
So Brad pulled out more paper and began writing. He felt aloofed from Kayla and this was the only way for him to stay attached to her. He was telling her everything that was happing out there and everything he was doing and everything he felt. She wanted to know everything and she was going to know everything. Each time he wrote to her she wrote back. Within 7 months they were up to there 40th letter! They kept explaining there feelings and told each other everything that was going on. Kayla was explaining what was going on at there beach house in California and Brad was telling Kayla about Iraq. He told Kayla that he had to go on another mission to another town. What they were supposed to do it neutralize the enemies from the area, it was said to be a major base camp for them.
When Brad and 2 dozen other Marines arrived in the little town to bolster the Marines that were already there and it was quiet. They walked around all equipped with M16’s, flash bangs and smoke grenades checking out every house and building. All of a sudden shots were fired and Brad’s friend had been hit. Enemies were swarming in on them yelling in their jargon so the Marines couldnt understand them. So Brad and his platoon ran into a vacant house and started firing back through the windows. The Marines fought back and were doing very well to defend themselves. There were not many enemies left because many of them ran and some died but the marines didn’t die. They were trained better than that and were ready for the ambush. Then a shot was fired from the left and Brad turned to look and then BOOM! Brad got hit in the left shoulder, just above his body armor.
“AHH!!” yelled Brad as he fell to the ground.
“Brad! Brad! Are you okay!?” said Brad’s commander Tommy.
“Kayla, I need to come home to Kayla!” said Brad.
“Don’t worry Brad were going to get you home!” Tommy said.
Brad was lifted out by chopper and was brought to the base were he was sent to the hospital. Brad got shot in the shoulder 2 times by 2 AK-47 slugs. Kayla was called and was informed that Brad was shot and she was told the doctors were doing everything they could. She was worried when he didn’t respond to the letter that she wrote him and now she knew why. She was very scared! She thought he was going to die but she prayed he wouldn’t!
A couple days later Brad was all bandaged up and was able to leave the hospital, he was going to make a full recovery. He was being sent home early and he was only gone for 8 and a half months. He was happy about that because he missed Kayla so much! One week later he pulled in front of his house in California. Kayla was home. She saw the car pull up and she got really scared. She did not receive a call that he was coming home so she thought they were coming to tell he that Brad had died as a result to his wounds. She started crying and opened the door and walked outside. The weather was warm and breezy, Brad’s favorite kind which made her cry even harder when all of a sudden she saw Brad step out of the car. She was over whelmed with excitement!! She sprinted to him and he lifted her in the air holding her tight!
“Brad!! You’re home!!” said Kayla
“Yeah, finally” said Brad with a smile
After a few minutes Brad finally set her down and got on one knee. He pulled out the diamond ring that he had been looking at for the last 8 and a half months waiting to give her.
“Kayla, will you marry me?” said Brad.
“Yes, of course!” replied Kayla with a big smile.
And with that they went back inside. Brad was awarded a purple heart for being wounded in war and after that resigned from being a marine taking up a job as a local security guard. Kayla was very happy about him resigning and the got married 4 months later right there in California. It was the wedding of Kayla’s dream. The night of their wedding Brad confessed to Kayla his fears and she told him that she would have never left him. And they went on to be married and elated for the rest of their lives.
“Kayla, are you almost ready? We have a reservation at 7 o’ clock” said Brad.
“Yeah ill be down in one minute!” Kayla said.
It was Kayla’s and Brad’s 2 year anniversary as a couple, but they weren’t quite married yet. But to celebrate there anniversary Brad is taking Kayla to her favorite restaurant, Olive Garden. Brad also got Kayla a beautiful diamond heart necklace, the one she has always wanted.
Dinner was very good when they got back home Brad gave Kayla the necklace. She loved it so much she could hardly speak! It really pleased him to know that she enjoyed the present so much. She gave him a big kiss and hug to thank him for the present and told him how much she loved him. Brad told her he loves her too, as they were a very much in love couple. They went to sleep very happy with the day and Brad was dreaming about proposing to Kayla, which he wanted to do soon. He woke up early because of a call. The call was from the General in the military telling him he had to go off to help fight the war in Iraq. Brad is a Private First Class in the United States Marine Corps. Brad could not impasse the call. He was devastated to get this call because he planned to go buy a engagement ring for Kayla that day so he could have it ready when he decided to propose to her.
Brad went out anyways before Kayla woke up and went to get Kayla a engagement ring. He went to Kay Jewelers because he saw a engagement ring there a while ago that he wanted to get. It was silver with a big 4 karat diamond. He decided to get it and it would match perfectly with the necklace he got her. He got home by 9 a.m. and Kayla was still sleeping so he cooked her favorite breakfast, bacon and eggs. He made everything just the way she liked it. because he was very magnanimous to her. She woke up to the delicious smell of his cooking wafting into her room and he delicately placed everything on a tray and served her breakfast in bed. He kissed her good morning and then gave her, her breakfast.
Kayla said, “Brad that was delicious” and ate it all.
Brad said, “Thanks Kayla but, I have to tell you something”
Kayla said, “What is it?”
He told her how he got called out to the war to settle the anarchy over there and how he would be gone for a year. She started crying and he did too. It morosed Kayla to know that she wouldnt see Brad for a year. He was going to miss her so much and he was deeply afraid that while he is gone she will find somebody else and leave him, and she was all that he had, but Brad didn’t want to share those fears with Kayla. Kayla was also going to miss Brad and she had trepidation that he might die in the war because it was extremely dangerous and many people have died already. He was to leave in 2 weeks. So leading up to that time together Kayla and Brad spent all of there time together. They hardly left each others side! But Brad didn’t think it would be fair to Kayla to propose to her and then have to leave. So he never did.
On the day Brad had to leave Kayla cried a lot and so did Brad. Brad gave her one last hug and kiss.
“I am going to miss you so much Kayla!‘ Said Brad.
“Ill miss you too! Be safe, remember you promised you’d come home to me!!“ Kayla said.
And with that Brad boarded the plan and was gone leaving Kayla there with tears streaming down her cheeks.
Brad got to Iraq the next morning, missing Kayla already. He was briefed about what he was to do. And he spent the whole day training with dexterity. He was then told that he was going to be sent to do patrols of a dangerous village the next day with 5 other Marines and was compliant when he heard this. He was laying in bed that night and he pulled out some paper and began writing. He was writing to Kayla. He was telling her what it is like out here and explaining his feelings towards her and how much he missed her. He loathed being away from her for this long! He had it sent to her the next day before the patrols. Brad was an infallable Marine. During the patrols they didn’t find anybody that posed a threat to them. They were surprised because they were prepared for an ambush that never came. But all that was on Brad’s mind was Kayla. He got a letter back from her a week and 2 days later. It was titled take care of yourself out there. And in the letter she also explained how much she missed him and how much she loves him. Also how she was doleful that she couldnt see him at all. But she told him he was very hardly to be out there fighting for his country. She told him to keep writing letters so they can stay close and it lets her know he’s still going to be able to come home to her.
So Brad pulled out more paper and began writing. He felt aloofed from Kayla and this was the only way for him to stay attached to her. He was telling her everything that was happing out there and everything he was doing and everything he felt. She wanted to know everything and she was going to know everything. Each time he wrote to her she wrote back. Within 7 months they were up to there 40th letter! They kept explaining there feelings and told each other everything that was going on. Kayla was explaining what was going on at there beach house in California and Brad was telling Kayla about Iraq. He told Kayla that he had to go on another mission to another town. What they were supposed to do it neutralize the enemies from the area, it was said to be a major base camp for them.
When Brad and 2 dozen other Marines arrived in the little town to bolster the Marines that were already there and it was quiet. They walked around all equipped with M16’s, flash bangs and smoke grenades checking out every house and building. All of a sudden shots were fired and Brad’s friend had been hit. Enemies were swarming in on them yelling in their jargon so the Marines couldnt understand them. So Brad and his platoon ran into a vacant house and started firing back through the windows. The Marines fought back and were doing very well to defend themselves. There were not many enemies left because many of them ran and some died but the marines didn’t die. They were trained better than that and were ready for the ambush. Then a shot was fired from the left and Brad turned to look and then BOOM! Brad got hit in the left shoulder, just above his body armor.
“AHH!!” yelled Brad as he fell to the ground.
“Brad! Brad! Are you okay!?” said Brad’s commander Tommy.
“Kayla, I need to come home to Kayla!” said Brad.
“Don’t worry Brad were going to get you home!” Tommy said.
Brad was lifted out by chopper and was brought to the base were he was sent to the hospital. Brad got shot in the shoulder 2 times by 2 AK-47 slugs. Kayla was called and was informed that Brad was shot and she was told the doctors were doing everything they could. She was worried when he didn’t respond to the letter that she wrote him and now she knew why. She was very scared! She thought he was going to die but she prayed he wouldn’t!
A couple days later Brad was all bandaged up and was able to leave the hospital, he was going to make a full recovery. He was being sent home early and he was only gone for 8 and a half months. He was happy about that because he missed Kayla so much! One week later he pulled in front of his house in California. Kayla was home. She saw the car pull up and she got really scared. She did not receive a call that he was coming home so she thought they were coming to tell he that Brad had died as a result to his wounds. She started crying and opened the door and walked outside. The weather was warm and breezy, Brad’s favorite kind which made her cry even harder when all of a sudden she saw Brad step out of the car. She was over whelmed with excitement!! She sprinted to him and he lifted her in the air holding her tight!
“Brad!! You’re home!!” said Kayla
“Yeah, finally” said Brad with a smile
After a few minutes Brad finally set her down and got on one knee. He pulled out the diamond ring that he had been looking at for the last 8 and a half months waiting to give her.
“Kayla, will you marry me?” said Brad.
“Yes, of course!” replied Kayla with a big smile.
And with that they went back inside. Brad was awarded a purple heart for being wounded in war and after that resigned from being a marine taking up a job as a local security guard. Kayla was very happy about him resigning and the got married 4 months later right there in California. It was the wedding of Kayla’s dream. The night of their wedding Brad confessed to Kayla his fears and she told him that she would have never left him. And they went on to be married and elated for the rest of their lives.
15 Vocab words in my SHort Story:
ReplyDeleteelated, magnanimous, infallable, impasse, anarchy, morose, trepidation, compliant, dexterity, loathe, aloof, bolster, doleful, hardly, jargon.
1. The conflict is external because Brad has to deal and cope with war. He has to survive and come home to Kayla. The resolution was when Brad came home to Kayla and retired from being a Marine. The story could've been more dramatic if Brad's injury had more suspense and if it made the reader more nervous.
ReplyDelete2. The character doesn't really change throughout the story. The only difference was that Brad realized that he should cherish Kayla and spend his life with her, since he loves her.
3. My favorite part is when Brad was making breakfast and preparing everything for Kayla. It wasn't very exciting and suspensful, but it made me feel very happy and warm inside. It was so nice and romantic."He made everything just the way she liked it. because he was very magnanimous to her." I like this line because it shows how nice Brad is to Kayla and everyone would wish they could have that happiness.
4. The best quality would have to be it's setting because you get a good sense of how each scenes are. Like the war description or the way the made everythign she liked. It was pretty much the exposition that was good.
5. I think the story's theme is that you should cherish the person in front of you because life is short. You know today, but may not know what tomorrow is going to be. Live today and not tomorrow.
6. Jon, you REALLY need to read it over. Read it like out loud line by line. You are missing words at some lines, you need to put in commas ALOT, and check for spelling, but most of all i think you need to add the word, "that" in alot of places.
first of all, I REALLY liked the story.
ReplyDelete1.I think the conflict was both internal and external. external was brad having to make it home from the middle east. Internal was brad having to overcome his fears that Kayla will leave him for someone else when he's overseas.
2. The main character doesn't change mush over time, or if he does, it isn't shown very well. i think you need some more emotion in there. going to war isn't gonna leave you the same as when you left.
3. My favorite part was "Kayla was called and was informed that Brad was shot and she was told the doctors were doing everything they could. She was worried when he didn’t respond to the letter that she wrote him and now she knew why." because it made it seem like the Brad was going to die.
4. I think the tale's best quality was how it was told. The detail wasn't too great, and details about the battle were off and also left out.
5. The story's theme is people loving each other and having to overcome being without each other and having to worry about the other.
6. I think that the only thing the author might need to revise would be to do some research about war, and to add in some detail. other than that its very good.